I Miss Pops

Today, I miss my dad. As you know, Pops passed away six months ago today. It has been six months of learning to lean (as the old hymn says.) I am still finding more power than I'd ever dreamed. When Autumn was born 4 weeks ago and tragedy struck, I began to panic. How could we do this without Pops? Everyone who knew him knew that he was the strong one that helped us through difficulties and struggles. I learned more about why and how over these past few weeks.

When this struggle started and the doctor finally came out to let me know what was going on (Two hours after Autumn had been born) - he told me 'Your daughter is lucky to be alive and is still not out of the woods, the best thing that you can do is call your church and have them start praying.' I thanked him and told him that he was a couple of hours behind. We had people praying as soon as Jen was rushed into surgery and that Pastor Dave & Rachel were right down the hall with the rest of our family. He said let's bring Pastor Dave back to pray with Autumn right then (I hadn't even got to see her yet as they were still working to revive and stabilize her) - so Pastor Dave and I went to the operating room put on our scrubs / cleaned up and were led back where a team of about 15 to 20 people were working on Autumn. They made some room for us and Dave & I layed hands on Autumn and asked for God to work in her life according to His will and to heal her little body. It was an incredible moment where God took center stage. As we walked out of the room - I was reminded where my strength comes from - My Heavenly Father. You see my dad wasn't strong because he was insensitive or special, he was strong because he depended on our Heavenly Father for his strength.

A couple of years ago, I couldn't have imagined going through this kind of struggle without the support and help of my Pops. As we have travelled this road, it has been fairly easy (if that is possible). Jen and I know that God is in control and that he is our strength. We have learned to depend on Him and He is our strength. People used to always say that my dad was a rock (and he was), but that was because he was connected to The Rock - Jesus is the Rock and he has been our rock these past couple of weeks.

I still miss my dad and his strength - the strength that he taught me about. I am sad about the fact that he will never get to hold this precious miracle. My heart aches that Autumn will never get to lay on the living room floor and read the paper with Grandpa as Jayna has enjoyed so much. I am sad that Pops doesn't get to see me and my family learn to depend 100% on our Heavenly Father - he would have been so proud, but I am so proud to have had a father who taught me the value of these things. He taught me that God and my family were the most important things - in that order. I praise God for 31 years with my father and know that I will join him in that great getting up morning someday.